Advice from a Cloistered Nun:

How to Live Your Confinement and Not Die Trying

 

Translation: Leah C. Vincent

Original article in Spanish: 10 Consejos de una monja de clausura

(Translation done with author's permission)

 

1. ATTITUDE OF FREEDOM

The most essential thing is the perspective you live with, the interpretation that you yourself make of the situation, the awareness that this is not a loss. Paradoxically, this could be an opportunity to discover the greatest and most genuine freedom: the inner freedom that nobody can take from you, the one that arises from within. It is true that the authorities “force” us to be at home. Your freedom consists in agreeing voluntarily, knowing that it is for a greater good. Free is the person who has the ability to accept the situation because they want to do what is right. You are not confined to your home; you have “freely” chosen to remain there.

 

2. PEACE IS WHERE THE SOUL HAS EXPANDED

Look inside of you: the widest space to expand yourself and be happy is in your heart. You do not need external places; rather, travel expansively inside your own world. Make room for creativity, listen to your own inspirations and discover the beauty of which you are capable. Perhaps you still have not discovered that life sprouts from the peace of your soul…life is the creation of more life, joyful communication and love. When you get used to living within yourself, you won’t want to leave.

 

3. DON’T LET YOURSELF GO: PEACE IS A CONSTANT PRACTICE

Cultivate virtues that require concentration and self-awareness, those that we normally neglect because we are occupied with a thousand other “external” tasks. How you manage your passions and feelings, how you deal with your own thoughts and emotions, determines whether you live in heaven or hell. Observe yourself and master yourself, because if you let yourself be swept away by fear, sadness or apathy, you will be hard pressed to come back to shore, since now there are few lifelines. Train your heart: when a particular thought does you no good, discard it. Try to lean towards the things you have noticed that bring you peace and joy; harmony is a constant practice.

 

4. LOVE

The burning issue for these days will be our coexistence. In the presence of the pandemic crisis, we are more sensitive and even irritable. You will have to be very patient, and make much use of common sense. We are diverse; each person has a different sensitivity due to thousands of circumstances. Accept and respect the opinions and feelings of others. When we are in our home, the tendency to want to control everything is very normal. Try not to do that, it will be the cause of many arguments and frustration. Minimize differences, and strengthen the things that unify. The only territory that truly belongs to you is you: your thoughts, words and emotions. Don’t control, control your own self. Out of love you will draw compassion and empathy, the desire to give and the gratitude to receive. Embrace fragility, disarm, respect, live and let live.

 

5. DO NOT KILL TIME

Nothing could create in you a greater sense of emptiness and boredom than to pass the time idly. Inertia is a wildly serious enemy that can rob you of peace and even drag you into depression. Make a plan for these days and try to live it out with discipline. Rest and activity are not antagonistic; take the opportunity to rest by doing activities that relax you or that boost your spirits. Take your time on simple things: let the onions sweat, the chickpeas to soften, the stew to simmer, we have time! Even if a casserole takes you two hours, enjoy doing it, but be resolved that the things you do, however simple they may be, have value and purpose. Think no more of mindlessly wasting time – to “kill time” is to kill life.

 

6. EXPAND YOUR OWN BORDERS

How many times have we complained about all the things we’ve left unfinished due to lack of time. Come, now we have it! That book they gave you three years ago for Christmas that you haven’t read, that other one you haven’t returned because you left off in the middle. If you like music, look for new artists, discover new genres. Would you like travel? Think of an exotic country and learn about their culture, language and traditions, for that we have internet. If you are a person of faith and prayer, perhaps you don’t know what to pray because you’ve exhausted everything you could think of. Why not try the Liturgy of the Hours? Download it on your cell phone. Search in the writings of a saint, you will certainly find many things that will fill your soul with new inspiration. Do not settle for what’s familiar and that you already know…now that there is the opportunity, open yourself to new changes that provide you with wisdom and fill you with joy.

 

7. FOR THE HIGHLY SENSITIVE

I will say quite realistically, that not all of us control our emotions the same. There will be people for whom, due to their psychology, this confinement will take a much greater toll. Emotions not only come from our interior; what we see, hear, touch, etc., also influences us. For that reason we must be selective about what we receive from the outside to avoid getting into vicious cycles that trap us in despair or that make us lose control. As much as possible, avoid: pessimistic conversations, arguments, scowling, information overload, suspense or horror films, chaos inside the home. Since there are not many reprieves that would make us change our way of thinking, everything that enters our brain will remain there for more time than usual; therefore we must be careful not to obsess or to let a negative mood make its home inside ourselves. An excess of screens is also bad, because it overstimulates our brain and makes us more nervous. We must sleep well, although too much can cause feelings of failure or defeat. A wonderful remedy to channel our energy and to relax is dancing. Put on some good music and dance and laugh for a long while. There is nothing like laughing to reboot our internal system.

 

8. YOU ARE NOT ISOLATED

It is important to understand that you have no reason to feel alone, because you’re not. The love and care of your people are still there, even if the physical contact has become distanced. This is an opportunity to experience communication at a deeper, more intimate level. Talk to the people in your house calmly, unhurriedly, listen to them until they have finished; allow your dialogue to foster the growth of trust, and for your confessions to build mutual understanding. Say what you never have time to say, tell what you have always wanted to tell, talk about everything and nothing, but do it with tenderness, which is what reaches the soul and settles into it. Reply to that holiday card you never acknowledged, the letter that made you excited and that you’ve procrastinated on responding, that email from an old friend. Search for beautiful words, try to give expression to your higher feelings. Speak from your heart and create deeper bonds with your people. You will discover that distance is not absence.

 

9. A JOURNEY OF REFLECTION

In order not to get overwhelmed, it is also advisable to look for moments of silence and solitude. In organizing your time for these days, also make space for personal “oxygenation.” How many people have I heard say, “What I wouldn’t give to retreat for a few days to a monastery,”! Well, your chance is here, at home. Ordinarily we tire from the accelerated pace that thrusts us forward, as if we were shot out into our daily routine, without time to assimilate what we experience. Like that, we have expected substantial changes in society; we often hear, “This cannot go on.” We now have the opportunity to go into a cocoon like the caterpillar that becomes a butterfly. Reflect, think, meditate – What could I change in myself to be better after this time? Separation from the things we are usually planning will reveal if we are truly focusing on what matters, on what things we can disregard, what things are irreplaceable, etc. A keen discernment to improve will later ensure that these days were to great advantage. New men and women after this crisis.

 

10. PRAY

Only prayer (which is the bond of friendship with God) can sustain life in every situation, especially adverse ones. Prayer, as St. Teresa would say, “although I say it last, it is the most essential.” To pray is to open oneself to that “Other” that can sustain me when I need help; but also, when I am doing well, to pray is to sustain others who need it. It is the most universal experience of Love. Pray, talk to God, hours will pass without you realizing it: talk to him about everything, he never tires of listening to you, pour your heart out to Him when you need to, and why not? Allow him to pour his heart out to you, he is your Father, your Brother, your Friend. Cultivate your faith and your trust. If you left your relationship with God in that little sailor suit from your first communion or in that beautiful white dress, try again. There is time now, and peace and quiet to converse with Him. Maybe you don’t think so because you haven’t made the effort. What if you tried?